The Grass Can Be Greener

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The Grass Can Be Greener

I’ve been MIA from Caramia Why for a while, but for good reason…
I’m starting a new job next month! A great opportunity that falls in line with my career goals! So, naturally I have been busy doing a lot of soul searching and planning to make the transition go smoothly. I feel that before a big transition (I’ve been at my current job for over 6 years) planning and self-evaluation are necessary. I don’t like to start new with the same ‘ole crap, just like I like to buy a new pair of shoes each season…..ok, maybe more than one pair! I felt the need to decide which things I want to take with me. No, I don’t mean my pens and stapler, but those things about me like thoughts and behaviors I’ve adopted a long time ago, as a defense that I may not need anymore. Mainly the ones that made me feel safe as a young girl, but now serve no good purpose. This involves really get to know me, including my habits –good and bad, what I really want and where I want to be. It takes time, and if you do it right it can be painful, but rewarding.

When was the last time you really thought about how you behave and why?

Do you usually act out of fear or take things personally that have nothing to do with you?

How important is it for you to be liked or to belong and why?

What are the lies that you’ve been told, that you continue to tell yourself?

The Grass Can Be Greener

How to make your next chapter even better than your last.
Many of us leave a job a relationship or a city with high hopes and visions for the next phase in our lives. Along the way, we hear, “The grass isn’t always greener,” and other pessimistic sayings that we may try to ignore. But, there’s some truth to “the grass isn’t always greener” because if you don’t take full responsibility and inventory of you, you may be dulling every other lawn you step onto. This is why you cultivate your own grass, first! I didn’t want to contaminate my new chapter with the old stuff that I no longer needed. So, I took inventory of all the things under my own control that made me less than happy at my old job as well as those that made me happy. I thought about all of the things I did and didn’t do to make that experience better, including what I reacted to, what I failed to say or ask for. I also thought about how much I searched for validation and self-worth in the eyes of others because of my own insecurities and ended up feeling empty and resentful because I didn’t get it. Not realizing that they never had the power to give it in the first place. My happiness was my job and my responsibility, not theirs.

Ever since I was a little girl, I constantly gave other’s too much power over my joy for the chance of a gold-star on my forehead. I looked for someone to tell me what I deserved, if I belonged, or if I was good enough. I don’t’ want to spend my life searching for gold stars to be placed on my forehead! I want to make my own and shine from within. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am not done and still have a hard time breaking those habits that took years to form. I also have daughters who I want more than anything to look within rather than without for praise and approval. It’s not an easy job but somebody’s got to do it! What a great time to start!

To help with my introspection and getting my Sh@t together, I got an inspirational planner:

A new book:

And some new shoes….because I deserve ‘em!

About CaraMiaWhy

Cara is a married, (soon to be Health Psychology, PhD) mom of 3 girls, from the Bronx, New York. She is the creator and author of the lifestyle/wellness blog, CaraMia Why, (translation: "My Dear, Why"). She shares stories and tips on beauty, wellness, style, motherhood and life, that you could probably research or discover for yourself, but My Dear, Why?