The Mommie Dearest Guide to Life

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What We Can All Learn From Mommie Dearest….

Mommie Dearest is still one of my favorite, horribly melodramatic movies. It’s based on the dysfunctional childhood of Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of Hollywood actress, Joan Crawford. And although child abuse and alcoholism are nothing to laugh about, this movie’s scenes are so over-the-top, that they’re awesomely hilarious! As I watched it for the 35th time, I realized that all of us can take a few tips from Mommie Dearest, with a grain of salt, of course….

So here is my tribute to the Mother of all Mother’s:

The Mommie Dearest Guide to Life:

Mommie Dearest Skin Care Routine

Joan Crawford, AKA Mommie Dearest, didn’t play when it came to her skin….

A good skin-care regimen is essential. I’m not saying that you should scrub with scalding water followed by an ice-bath, but take care of your skin, even if it adds a few minutes to your usual routine. Always wash off your make-up before bed, exfoliate, moisturize and use sunscreen. Glowing skin signifies health, youth and beauty.


  Mommie Dearest: “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the dirt!”

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Direct your anger appropriately. If you’re mad at your boss, don’t take it out on your family or the grocery store guy. Learn to direct your anger appropriately, even if it means you need to cool down before you let it out. It may help to write it down, or write a letter to the person who made you angry, even if you don’t intend on giving to them.



Mommie Dearest: “Christina, You Will Eat Everything On That Plate!”

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Parent’s, don’t encourage picky-eating by giving in to it every time. Yes, most kids won’t and probably shouldn’t eat rare meat, but when your child suddenly won’t eat anything green, don’t feel the need to go on an anti-green campaign with them. Picky eating (most of the time) is just another form of attention seeking, the more you bend, the more they’ll push. Take a tip from French moms, they have a no-nonsense approach to family mealtime……


Mommie Dearest: “I’m bigger and faster… I will always beat you!”

Mommie Dearest always wins

Teach your children how to cope with failure. Without racing them yourself, cause that’s just weird. It seems like people are afraid to allow children to lose because they feel that they’re too fragile to accept defeat. The “everybody is a winner-all the time,” strategy is an unrealistic cop-out. Yes, winning feels good, and losing feels not-so-good, but you need to experience both. Losing builds your character, so that you can handle defeat gracefully later on.


Nothing’s Clean Cleanser Moment

Tidying up may seem like a waste of time, but, trust me, it’s not. Take some notes from Marie Kondo, author of , The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It’s true that putting things back as you found them, making your bed, and keeping your desk clutter-free- all take time, but they also save time and sanity. You don’t have to obsess, but waking up to or coming home to a clutter-free space is relaxing, and makes you feel like you have your sh*t together, even when you don’t.


This aint my first time at the rodeo

Sometimes you have to come out of the bag on people. Most of us were taught to be nice and patient, and this works…. Sometimes. However, there are times when you have to shock a Mother F*cker, to show them not to mess with you and yours.


No Wire Hangers…EVEEEERRRR

And last, but not least….. wire hangers are ruining your clothes! Get some real hangers for at least your good stuff if you want your clothes to last longer. But no need to go on a drunken rampage about it, just replace those wire hangers and take a chill pill…….







About CaraMiaWhy

Cara is a married, (soon to be Health Psychology, PhD) mom of 3 girls, from the Bronx, New York. She is the creator and author of the lifestyle/wellness blog, CaraMia Why, (translation: "My Dear, Why"). She shares stories and tips on beauty, wellness, style, motherhood and life, that you could probably research or discover for yourself, but My Dear, Why?