The Grass Can Be Greener

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather

The Grass Can Be Greener

I’ve been MIA from Caramia Why for a while, but for good reason…
I’m starting a new job next month! A great opportunity that falls in line with my career goals! So, naturally I have been busy doing a lot of soul searching and planning to make the transition go smoothly. I feel that before a big transition (I’ve been at my current job for over 6 years) planning and self-evaluation are necessary. I don’t like to start new with the same ‘ole crap, just like I like to buy a new pair of shoes each season…..ok, maybe more than one pair! I felt the need to decide which things I want to take with me. No, I don’t mean my pens and stapler, but those things about me like thoughts and behaviors I’ve adopted a long time ago, as a defense that I may not need anymore. Mainly the ones that made me feel safe as a young girl, but now serve no good purpose. This involves really get to know me, including my habits –good and bad, what I really want and where I want to be. It takes time, and if you do it right it can be painful, but rewarding.

When was the last time you really thought about how you behave and why?

Do you usually act out of fear or take things personally that have nothing to do with you?

How important is it for you to be liked or to belong and why?

What are the lies that you’ve been told, that you continue to tell yourself?

The Grass Can Be Greener

How to make your next chapter even better than your last.
Many of us leave a job a relationship or a city with high hopes and visions for the next phase in our lives. Along the way, we hear, “The grass isn’t always greener,” and other pessimistic sayings that we may try to ignore. But, there’s some truth to “the grass isn’t always greener” because if you don’t take full responsibility and inventory of you, you may be dulling every other lawn you step onto. This is why you cultivate your own grass, first! I didn’t want to contaminate my new chapter with the old stuff that I no longer needed. So, I took inventory of all the things under my own control that made me less than happy at my old job as well as those that made me happy. I thought about all of the things I did and didn’t do to make that experience better, including what I reacted to, what I failed to say or ask for. I also thought about how much I searched for validation and self-worth in the eyes of others because of my own insecurities and ended up feeling empty and resentful because I didn’t get it. Not realizing that they never had the power to give it in the first place. My happiness was my job and my responsibility, not theirs.

Ever since I was a little girl, I constantly gave other’s too much power over my joy for the chance of a gold-star on my forehead. I looked for someone to tell me what I deserved, if I belonged, or if I was good enough. I don’t’ want to spend my life searching for gold stars to be placed on my forehead! I want to make my own and shine from within. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am not done and still have a hard time breaking those habits that took years to form. I also have daughters who I want more than anything to look within rather than without for praise and approval. It’s not an easy job but somebody’s got to do it! What a great time to start!

To help with my introspection and getting my Sh@t together, I got an inspirational planner:

A new book:

And some new shoes….because I deserve ‘em!

5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to A Person Who Suffers From Migraines

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather


If you’ve ever had migraines you know the debilitating pain they cause, and you’re probably all too familiar with the need to crawl into a dark space and wish for the pain to just completely knock you out or kill you. Many people do not know much about migraines, especially since only 12% of the US population suffers from them. This makes migraine sufferers really special, but not in a good way. It also means that migraine sufferers hear a lot of seemingly helpful words along with some dumb a$$ comments about their, “headaches,” from people who have no idea what a migraine is or more importantly what one feels like.


“Migraines are recurring attacks of moderate to severe pain. The pain is throbbing or pulsing, and is often on one side of the head. During migraines, people are very sensitive to light and sound. They may also become nauseated and vomit. Migraine is three times more common in women than in men. Some people can tell when they are about to have a migraine because they see flashing lights or zigzag lines or they temporarily lose their vision.” –National institute of Health

5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to A Person Who Suffers From Migraines

Now, I have been suffering from migraines since I was a pre-teen, and I have been to doctors, neurologists and other specialists, and have tried several treatments to prevent and/or cope with them. Since I’ve had them for so many years, I usually know when one is coming on, sometimes days before, although I can never predict the intensity. Sometimes I can manage them really well and other times I’m hopeless and all I can do is lay somewhere, curled up in a ball or puking my brains out. There are many times when a migraine makes it almost impossible to think, hear or speak coherently, which next to the pain and nausea is one of the freaking worst things about migraines. IMO. Nothing worse than someone asking me a question, and waiting while I painstakingly process their question and then fumble for the words to answer because a migraine has hijacked my brain. This usually makes me angry with myself, with my brain and the world in general, which does not make things any better.

I know that most people mean well when commenting on my migraines, but there are some things people say that literally make me want to throat-punch them.Read More »»»

Alternative versus Traditional Remedies and Cures

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather

It’s like as soon as I mention natural oils, supplements, or any holistic remedies for health, wellness or beauty, I’m sure to get a skeptical eye-roll. I get why people are so opposed to anything “natural,” that claims to treat, cure or enhance. What I don’t get is how quick these same folks are to buy commercial products with lists of synthetic, unpronounceable ingredients because there’s picture of a coconut on the bottle along with a label stating, “made with real coconut essence.” WTH is coconut essence? This all goes back to the funky familiar theory. People will continue to trust brands, products and treatments that are familiar over anything new, even if those things don’t work, or live up to their claims. Therefore, unless you grew up using natural products, they seem foreign to you and everyone who endorses them probably seems like a quack. This is not to say that there aren’t commercial products with synthetic ingredients that work really well or natural ones that don’t. I use commercial brands of mascara, but I also use castor oil on my lashes, this combination leads to some really thick and beautiful lashes, that I’m always receiving compliments on. When it comes to beauty, I use what works, so I’m not opposed to using the not-so-natural along with natural products.

Natural Products and Remedies and The Cure-All DilemmaWhy the answer or cure is not always clear and easy for natural remedies or for traditional medicine.

The same is true for health and wellness. I take my children to traditional doctors and give them Tylenol or Motrin when I need to, but I also have my own bag of holistic tricks up my sleeve for those things that western medicine can’t fix so well. I learned how to heal cavities and remineralize my kid’s teeth with coconut oil and bentonite clay, but does that mean that they don’t go to the dentist? Nope! My daughter’s experience with a difficult to cure skin virus solidified my stance on natural remedies and modern medicine.Read More »»»

Rosemary Oil-Be Insanely Beautiful and Beautifuly Sane

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather

Probably like most people, when I hear of rosemary, I picture the sprigs used to season meats. I definitely never thought about wellness, or beauty, until I read about rosemary oil, and realized what I had been missing. The oil is extracted from rosemary leaves and used for so many non-culinary things.

As it turns out, rosemary oil is great for your mental health, skincare, aches and pains and even indigestion. Sounds crazy, huh? Rosemary oil is a holistic powerhouse that can make you insanely beautiful, while keeping you beautifully sane. I am constantly in search of de-stressing, sanity inducing remedies, so when I learned that just a whiff of rosemary oil could get my mind right, I was on board. Everyone who knows me knows that I constantly teeter on a thin line between quirky and bat-sh*t crazy. Anyway, this stuff has been a life-saver!

Wellness and Beauty uses for Rosemary Oil

Stress and Mood: Rosemary oil, when used as aromatherapy can help ease anxiety, and lower stress. I keep a bottle of pure Rosemary oil on my dresser, because I need quick and easy access for those days when I feel like I might bust a cap in someones a$$. For a quick  and legal mood boost, I just sprinkle a little rosemary oil into the palm of my hand, rub both hands together and cup them over my nose for a few seconds. It has the familiar rosemary scent, like the herb used for cooking, just a little stronger and more like eucalyptus in the way that it opens your nasal cavities. I find the scent relaxing and invigorating at the same time. Studies have shown that rosemary oil aromatherapy can increase mental clarity, cognitive performance and even reduce Alzheimers symptoms? I might start bringing a bottle with me to work. Here’s a little peer-reviewed proof Rosemary Study

Skin care: This oil reduces inflammation, is a natural antiseptic and promotes healthy tissue generation, too. So, it’s great for many skin ailments like eczema, acne, rashes as well as reducing oily skin. Add a little to your moisturizer or oils you already use for skin benefits. I mix mine with my jojoba and castor oil and use it for my oil-cleansing routine.

Hair care: Rosemary oil can relieve dry scalps. promote hair growth and reduce graying when used with olive oil or jojoba oil as a hot oil treatment. Imagine, less grays to cover up or color, or stronger hair that can resist flat ironing, pulling and tugging. It can also treat dandruff due to it’s anti-fungal properties. There’s scientific backing to the claims that Rosemary oil can reduce hair thinning and graying, too.

Digestive issues; Although you can drink rosemary tea, you can also rub some rosemary oil onto your tummy in a circular motion to help with indigestion or any stomach upset.

Pain Relief: Rosemary oil can be used to relieve muscle soreness and even sciatica when massaged into your skin. For this purpose, it is best used warmed along with another oil, such as jojoba, castor oil or olive oil. For headache relief apply a few drops of the oil to your hands and inhale, or use a diffuser.

Insect Repellent: This one is a bonus! It seems that many bugs can’t stand the smell. Rosemary oil can be an effective lice repellent when combined with tea tree oil and eucalyptus and applied to the scalp or behind the ears.

Try it for yourself:

More Rosemary oil facts and studies here

Recipes to promote hair re-growth using rosemary oil, here

Before trying any of the aforementioned uses for Rosemary oil please read and follow the manufacturer instructions and guidelines for use that accompany your bottle of Rosemary oil to avoid irritation and injury.


I am a member of Amazon’s affiliate sales program, and this is an affiliate link; however, I only endorse products that I use myself.

How To Stop Blocking Yourself

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather

Expression Over Perfection

So there I was, wearing my brave face while crying inside after the most intense yoga experience, ever! It didn’t have to be so hard, but here’s what I do to myself when I take ANY class: I push myself to the freaking limit, call myself bad names in my head when I can’t keep up, never allow myself to do the modified version of anything, even if it means impeding injury, pain or looking like a darned fool. I generally hand over my chill button the moment I walk in the door. So, with my lip quivering after holding my leg for an eternity in a position that could only have been created by the devil himself, I heard a quote that spoke directly to my soul.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open” –Martha Graham

Read More »»»

Stretch Marks – Theories of Prevention

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailfacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedintumblrmailby feather

Stretch Marks Happen….

I know we shouldn’t care and that some may consider it vain to want to escape stretch marks, so you can sneak and read this, take notes, then this post will self-destruct in a few minutes. Do you ever notice how some women get stretch marks and others don’t? Some people say its heredity and others say it’s the size of the woman and how much her belly grows. Or they’ll say that some people are just prone to them, and therefore if you have them on your hips or breasts already, look forward to more of them when you’re pregnant. Although there is no definitive way to predict if you will get them or not, I have a theory about how to reduce or even prevent them from happening. I also believe that it is equally cool to embrace your stretch marks, since they are proof that you are superwoman!

Stretch marks are the badge of a real woman” -Mr. Babrucz, For Keeps

The other day someone commented on my belly being stretch-mark free after 3 children and asked me for my secret. How this person saw my stretch mark free belly is another story, having to do with my refusal to give up midriffs after 30. I was ashamed because I didn’t have any fancy secret to share, besides: Do not let your pregnant belly, or breasts get dry. That sounds like the warning that guy gave in the Gremlins movie, but really, don’t let it happen, especially if you have dry skin already, which many women of color do.  If you’re thinking you should just slather on extra lotion, Wrong! There’s a method to this. I proceeded to share advice I had been given during my first pregnancy, by an older stretch-mark free mom. The 3 tips she gave me stuck and I followed them without any consideration from baby #1 to # 3. I call this technique, “moisture trapping.”Read More »»»